It’s been 10 months. What’s changed you ask? Nothing and everything.

I still love programming. I struggle to find enough time to do all the projects I’m thinking of. But when I do find time to work on an open source project, or code on a mod for a game, I receive such a sense of satisfaction. But there are still hurdles. Ones that aren’t just a lack of intelligence. They are a fear of failure combined with a lack of experience.

During this past week I ran across an issue at work. A bit of code was acting very suspiciously. I knew what it was doing wasn’t right. I found that I was unable to trust my own opinion of how things were working, or should be working. I reached out and ask a more senior developer to review the issue. When I do this, more often than not, I find out that they too are baffled by the functioning of the code. What does this mean?

I was right but couldn’t trust my instincts. That my lack of confidence was guiding my actions. including the way i interacted with my fellow developers.

When I spoke with my co-worker, I approached them as if I had done something wrong or was missing some domain specific knowledge. I chose this approach rather than saying that I needed confirmation of my own observations.

Which is right? At what point does confidence become arrogance? A question for another post perhaps.

Just for today: I will form my own theory based on the evidence I have. I will follow that with attempting to prove my theory. Then I will ask for assistance proving my theory if I am unable to do so on my own.